Free tools you can actually use

Are you ready to reach out?

Answer honestly. This is a private gut-check based on the readiness ideas in the books, not a test with a right answer.

If you sent a message and got no reply at all, would you be okay tomorrow? Yes Sort of Not yet

Have you had whole hours, or a whole day, when you did not think about them? Yes Sort of Not yet

Can you picture their life being genuinely good without you in it? Yes Sort of Not yet

Have you stopped checking their profile and their online status? Yes Sort of Not yet

Can you name, honestly, the real reason it ended, and what you would do differently? Yes Sort of Not yet

Do you want this specific person, rather than just not wanting to be alone? Yes Sort of Not yet

Have you rebuilt parts of your own life since the breakup (friends, movement, work)? Yes Sort of Not yet

Could you hear a no and let it go with your dignity intact? Yes Sort of Not yet

See where you stand

No-contact day counter

Pick the day you started. This counts the days and marks the milestones. It stays in your browser only.

Start date Track Clear

First-message check

Paste a draft. This checks it against the five forces of a good first message. It never leaves your browser.

Check my draft

Real support resources

Free, non-commercial, and worth knowing. If things are heavy, please start here.

• In crisis (US): call or text 988, or 988lifeline.org.
• In crisis (UK/IE): Samaritans, 116 123, samaritans.org.
• Find a line anywhere: findahelpline.com.
• If a relationship is unsafe (US): National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, thehotline.org.
• Understanding mood and anxiety: NIMH: find help.
• Finding a therapist: the American Psychological Association keeps plain guidance.