Get help

If things are heavy, start here

A breakup can bring real pain, and sometimes more than a book can hold. Nothing on this site is therapy or medical care, and it is not a substitute for a professional. If any of the following fit, please reach out to real support first. There is no shame in it, and it is the stronger move.

If you are in crisis

If you are thinking about harming yourself, please treat it as the emergency it is and contact a crisis line now.

• United States: call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline), or visit 988lifeline.org.
• United Kingdom and Ireland: call Samaritans on 116 123, or visit samaritans.org.
• Elsewhere: find a local line through the international helpline directory.

If your relationship involved abuse

If you were harmed, your safety matters more than any reunion, and the pull to go back is something to talk through with someone trained, not to act on alone.

• United States: the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, or thehotline.org.
• United Kingdom: Refuge runs the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

For ongoing support

If you are struggling with low mood, anxiety, or sleep for more than a couple of weeks, these have real causes and real help, and a doctor is the right first step. To learn more or to find care, the National Institute of Mental Health and the American Psychological Association both keep plain, non-commercial information.

One firm line this whole project holds: never keep contacting someone who has asked you to stop. That is not reconnection, and it can cause real harm.